USING YOUR SENSES

We are each endowed with five senses …. sight, touch, hearing, taste and smell. Our most effective writing is when we bring them into play , and let our readers share one or more of them, to enhance the reader’s enjoyment.

I wanted a powerful ending for my first, and most popular book, “The Pomegranate Pendant” that was made into the movie “The Golden Pomegranate.” It was time for my heroine Mazal, who had started out in the book as a child bride from Yemen, to die; so I decided to make the final paragraph as strong as I could. I did this by employing all of the five senses:

“I looked up through the branches and saw the stars shimmering like a million diamonds, the moon golden like my pomegranate pendant. I listened to the wind sighing in the fir trees that pointed like sentinels towards heaven. I inhaled the fragrance of a magnolia tree in the garden, and rosemary, basil and thyme wafting down from the Judean Hills … herbs that my mother had grown in Sana’a and I had planted in my tiny plot in the Choosh. I stooped and took a handful of soil and let it run between my fingers. I was saying goodbye to Jerusalem and had used all my five senses but one, in this silent dialogue with the city I loved. I hoped that Paradise would look like Jerusalem. And then, I tasted it – the salt of the tears that were slowly trickling from my eyes.

Ezra had been right from the start: we had come to Jerusalem to be redeemed. And so we were.”

______________________

Happy writing. I am always glad to read your comments and to help you with any writing problems free of charge. You can also purchase any of my novels direct from me at discount. Just e-mail: dwaysman@g.mail.com

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2 thoughts on “USING YOUR SENSES

  1. Hi Dvora,

    Exquisite! I remember this – just beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with all of us. Speaking of all our senses …

    Dvora, I am smiling. I am seeing someone, he’s someone I knew a long time ago and now that I’m back in Illinois where we knew each other, we have reconnected. The gold that was in him has risen to the top and he is kind, considerate, empathic, giving and wise. He is cherishing me, I know now what it is like to be cherished. He’s retired so he has time and he’s not caught up in the rat race. He’s sending me music and poetry, saying he is wooing me, and he wants to do this G-d’s way to honor me, to do right by us. His name is Dr Steven Franke, Professor Emeritus of Electrical Engineering, and right now he is working on a research project with a Nobel Prize winner in Physics in the UK.

    He’s not a random somebody. Are you ready for this? In 1985 we married each other. He’s my first husband, but I had not faced the incest/abuse in my past, I had not told him, and he was a new professor starting out at the University. The marriage was doomed from the start, it lasted 2 years before I bolted in utter pain, finally waking up to my abusive past. He wanted to make it work, I couldn’t, I had no wherewithal.

    In 1990, he remarried and so did I, to Mark. I healed and am free. Turns out, each of us have been alone now for 10 years. His second wife was unfaithful and has since remarried, like Mark. When I came here to Illinois to be the House Mother at 4H House, I started reaching out to old friends, as I had time, to get together. He was one of them, though we had not seen each other or connected in 34 years. I did not know if he lived here, was at the University, was married or anything. We met at the Arboretum, I could tell that for him it was love at first sight. We shared our stories, there was forgiveness and understanding and a closure we never had all the way around, we’ve met for other walks, hikes, picnics, lectures, concerts, dinners, art shows, and long, long talks.

    Bashert, Dvora. I think G-d used Don to teach me some things and give me a perspective that I now have as I see how Steven is conducting himself with me. I was at a small dinner party with my Jewish friends a few weeks ago, with a judge, his wife and grown daughter at the table. I told them the story. The judge’s verdict: Bashert. He said it over and over. : )

    We shall see, but I think the judge is right. We are filled with wonder of this turn of events. He thought he’d never see me again and I had no idea he’d want to. Your Sabbath prayers have helped usher in this solid, beautiful soul into my life. My first love. My own husband whom I couldn’t love properly.

    I need to get back to work. This is a real life fairy tale and somehow, G-d has chosen me to be in it. It’s hard to do work, but I am doing it and things are going really well.

    Love to you! Love everywhere!

    Carrie

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